I’m a bit of a worker bee, always have been. I credit my work ethic to my parents that not only set an example but also encouraging me to make my own money. I was 14 when I had my first job as a bus girl and the rest is history. I’ve been self employed – aka I eat what I kill – for the past 17 years. Many of those years were leaner than I care to recall, the balance between building a training business and being the best mom I could be to my son. For 10 of those years I worked 6 days a week, trying to build a reputation and enough money to support us as some of those days I would only see 2 clients…Saturday’s were my money day, my son was with his dad that day so I booked as many clients as I could forsaking watching my sons soccer games. Things slowly built up and my hard work and commitment to taking any and all hours I could paid off. Seeking a better balance, I reduced my hours and had some semblance of order in my days with full weekends off. I still packed as many hours as I could into my days, back to back clients sometimes 10 or 12 a day. Fear and scarcity propelling me forward in an effort to earn as much as I could. I burnt out (go figure) A few times. I guess you’d say I’m a bit of a slow learner that way. Miscellaneous health issues ebbed and flowed in and out of my life, mostly auto-immune and the extreme crashes would leave me unable to work the crazy days that I’d convinced myself I could do. Yes, I still made time of holidays and great vacations a few times a year but I was often so burnt out by the time I’d taken the time off I’d use half the time decompressing and sleeping.

My son left for university a few years ago and my responsibilities changed, I began to fill the time I’d allotted to drive and watch his extracurricular activities with work again. You want to train Saturday? Sure. You want a session on Monday? Sure, I’ll skip my lunch break and squeeze you in as my 11th client that day. I know, woe is me. The idea that I am doing something I love and having success at is everyone’s dream. The only problem is in the process I was forgetting how to live. The relaxed feelings from holidays and adventures would quickly turn back into the grind and my burn out tolerance lower and lower. How to sustain the joy I felt when I traveled, of the simplicity and ease of pace while home. That is the question I seek to answer. A recent crash and health scare had me waking up and knowing that something has to change. I’ve only got so many years on this planet and I want to live them!.

I’ve made some small changes to my schedule in the past month. I no longer work 4 early mornings in a row and I’ve given myself 2 evenings off so that I can make social plans if I desire. Monday – Thursday I’ve been a bit of a hermit the past few years.  Saving my energy to give my clients the best me, life was up early, train clients, workout, cook dinner and to bed early. I felt like I was just going through the motions. I even cut out evening sports as they’d make me wired til the late hours and thus hard to get up the next day. An extroverted introvert, I don’t mind alone time, in fact I need a certain amount of it but it was getting ridiculous. By the time Friday night rolled around all I wanted was my sofa and kitty snuggles, leaving the only real night to socialize on Saturday.  It’s not a bad life, don’t get me wrong, but I want more from it. I am a just over a month into the new schedule and I have to reign myself in sometimes from overbooking my client hours, but I’m getting better and better at setting (and keeping) the boundaries. I’m socializing more with the few friends I have, I’ve started Tennis during the week again and I’m getting more sleep. In turn my workouts are better, I feel more focused in client sessions and have more time to do little things like blog posts and actually sharing some of the quick and healthy recipes I’ve been cooking for years. More balance and working towards a time that I don’t NEED a vacation but take them for the pure joy of wanderlust!

If this sounds a bit like you, today’s prompt is where can you let go or reconfigure your life so you can do more LIVING?