Running Free
It’s officially spring in Vancouver and the warm temperatures have it feeling more like summer. I’ve always loved running outdoors (treadmills not so much) especially in warmer weather and extended daylight that the season change brings. As I am still in a ‘good’ phase around my baldness I’ve been opting to go hatless and tan my cranium while I pound the pavement, something I haven’t done since that day long, long ago when the pained look of a friend that I bumped into along the way had me covering up. It feels good to be free!
People seem to be asking more questions these days while I’m out there, words of encouragement as I run or questions as I wait for a stoplight. Strangers talking to me isn’t new, I’ve always attracted the conversations of others for some reason but the topic is new. The assumption is always that I am undergoing chemo and pushing through my exercise, they offer anything from words of encouragement to questions about treatment and sharing their own stories. I listen and kindly correct them on my condition. Although I can empathize on theirs or loved ones journeys with cancer, that journey is not mine. I always take the time to explain about alopecia, partly to build awareness and partly to justify my lack of hair. As if I owed others an explanation of sorts.
Today as I ran I pondered upon my responses and realized that as I continue to accept myself as is this is changing as well. I latched onto the phrase of #justbald and am moving towards a time of no excuses, reasons or explanations for my look. Only the confidence and ownership of self to say I’m ‘Just Bald’ when asked. Without labels. Returning to the idea that If we have the ability to heal/help ourselves that the language we use internally and externally is of extreme importance. That what we believe of ourselves, both good and bad, can be made better or worse based on how we choose to see and address ourselves. What happens when we start to disassociate ourselves with our illnesses, conditions and even self perceived imperfections?
A Chiro/healer I follow often talks about this around pain in the physical body and instead of personalizing it by saying ‘my back is sore’ that changing the language to ‘the back is sore’ we can begin to heal differently. With that little piece of awareness I move forward with the reminder of who I am beyond the body and it’s perceived imperfections and share one of my favorite quotes by Rumi that has become a personal mantra:
“I am not this hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul who lives within”
If this resonates with you in some way, today’s reminder is that you get to choose how you meet your baldness (or pain) maybe it’s time to flip the script. Namaste friends!
