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The first few days…

Although my initial plan was to begin my month of bald on the 15th of the month, I woke on Friday feeling inspired and strong, helped along by all the kind words of others at my post and decided to go for it! Thank you again to all who reached out and shared some of your own stories or just great words of encouragement. My friend and acquaintance list is filled with so many beautiful people, some I know well, some not so well and I’m grateful to know all of you.

The past few days have been interesting. I awoke on Friday ready to take on the world and wrote my morning pages pondering what I would do. Purging my thoughts from my head, I told myself if I could plan a good outfit and my scalp looked ok, I’d do it.

The wigs I wear, albeit quite comfortable compared to others I’ve worn in the past, often irritate my scalp. If I was going to be fully exposed, I wanted my head to be as flawless as possible. I pulled out my electric razor and trimmed my head—random sprouts that grow are a bit messy and if I’m gonna rock the cranium, ya gotta keep the trim tight!

Freshly shaved, I polished it up with some foundation and smoothed out the redness. I wore more make-up than I typically do in an effort to feel ‘finished’ and boost my confidence. There’s nothing to hide behind without hair or coverings.

That day, for the first time in 10 plus years of having alopecia, I trained my clients as my bald self, no wig or hat covering my head. I worried a bit, but as the gym is a safe place for me, I quickly found my flow and unless I would catch myself in the mirror I’d forget that things were different that day. Admittedly, I didn’t look much and in fact, avoided my own reflection. (Not an easy feat in a room full of mirrors by the way!) That is something to work on, as well as more photos of me bald, as these actions feel like an important part of the process. Baby steps.

The weekend flowed quite seamlessly. I was grateful that my social plans were with good friends and I was able to be I feel safe in my time out and about. As with work, when I’m with them I don’t ever think about how I look different and how others may react. I know they accept and love me for what’s inside.

I also went shopping to one of my local stores and chatted openly with the staff about some of my struggles to find the right fashion and look, not only as a bald woman, but a muscular one that likes dresses and such! The ladies were amazing with great suggestions to keep the soft and feminine balance. I will go back again for styling advice and a few more pieces as I continue this ‘uncovered’ journey. I think glasses may be in order for an additional accessory to spice up my look as well as a make-up lesson. Roaming instagram I stumbled upon a not bald but very short- haired woman who’s style I really liked and is similar to mine. Just polished up a bit and I’m getting excited to explore the fashion aspect of my new look.

All of that said, it hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. The days are good once they get going, but they start with a moment of dread. As I lay in bed and run the recall of what’s on tap, I immediately think about the challenges I may face, people I will see, and how I can present myself appropriately. I look forward to this easing as I get into a new routine

* the quote in the photo is from Brene Brown, love her work and thankful for her help in naming the shame game! If you haven’t read any of her stuff, I highly recommend it for self helpers and skeptics alike!